Where do I begin? That's one of the questions I've needed to ask myself all week. Where do I begin to write abut Eddie Guerrero.

Most of you who know me know what happened. Last Sunday, Eduardo Gori Guerrero was found deceased in his Minneapolis hotel room by his nephew Chavo Guerrero Jr. He was only 38 years old.

Even that doesn't seem like the right place to start. That seems like a disservice to Eddie. To be fair to Eddie, I'd have to start when he was born, document his life so we could see what he had accomplished, lost, and rebuilt to gain fame as one of the greatest wrestlers the world has ever seen...And what he had accomplished, lost, and rebuilt to gain the respect, admiration and genuine love of every soul he touched, which from what I hear, is every person he met.

I didn't know Eddie Guerrero on a personal level. He wasn't a friend, or an acquaintance. I had never even met Eddie at an autograph session or at a wrestling show. I never got the chance to watch him wrestle live or even be in his presence, but Eddie Guerrero reached out and touched me. He grabbed me and made me a part of his world. I didn't know him on a one on one level, but part of me believes I DID know Eddie Guerrero, because the fans were a part of his life too. They were a part of his family, and every time he went out to perform, he gave the fans everything. People have commented that wrestling was Eddie's passion in life, and you didn't need to be a friend to see that. There was a reason I would look forward to watching whatever show Eddie was on, because no matter what else was on that show, Eddie would deliver. And he would make you believe. Eddie had that quality that few wrestlers ever posses. That unmistakable ability to suspend reality and make people forget that what's inside that ring isn't "real"...

But it IS real. It is very real, and if this death doesn't prove to the world how real and concrete the world of pro wrestling is, then there truly is no way that the rest of those outside the business will ever respect the sport of kings. Eddie died of a massive heart failure. Was it from drugs? Thankfully no, but they were an obvious factor in the wearing down of the vessels that eventually gave up last Sunday. Eddie died from putting his heart through too much. That in itself was almost ironic way for Eddie to pass on. After listening to what everyone had to say about Eddie, it is obvious that not only did Eddie work his heart hard when in the gym, but he worked it hard around all he knew, giving a piece of it to every person who lives he touched. He worked his heart to death. Somehow I find that very fitting.

What can I possibly say that hasn't already been said? There isn't anything. But I want to share some thoughts with you, because I have read a lot this week and thought even more.

Is Eddie's death a wake up call? Should it be? Wrestlers lead very hard lives. They travel almost everyday, living out of a suitcase with no one but themselves to turn to. Or something. A bottle maybe? What does it contain? Pills? Booze? Does it matter?

So many wrestlers turn to these crutches as a way to cope with their lives. How bad is the wrestling industry that too many of it's performers need these things just to get by in their daily lives? Maybe its time we stopped pointing the finger at just the wrestlers and saying what a shame he did this to himself. Maybe we should look at the wrestling industry and say "What did you expect?" These guys have no one, they have no stability, they are under constant pressure to succeed, get bigger, stronger, better, and unlike everyone else in the world, do it without rest. Wrestlers will work through injuries that desperately need medical attention. Why? Fear. Fear of losing their place, their "spot" in the company. How perverse and sick and twisted is that? Although I don't believe it will ever happen, and I know they don't like to hear it, maybe it's time someone (and those someone's know who they are) took a long look at the way business is run and say "Things need to change. Maybe we ARE pushing our guys a little too hard." It sickens me to think that some of the men and women I look up to and admire the most would have such a lack of self respect that they would put their own health aside to save their spot. Does anyone not think of those around them? What effect these things can have on their families? I guess not, because it keeps happening. Every year, we hear about more and more wrestlers dying much too young. Is is fair that I feel I have to give up a family to follow my dreams of being a professional wrestler, because I'm AFRAID of putting them through all kinds of hurt and pain of not having their father and husband around? It shouldn't be this way.

But what can be done? Is it naive to think that this blog will change the way the wrestling industry is run? Of course it is. I still love wrestling, and I still want to be a wrestler, but I'm making a promise now that I will NEVER lose my self respect or my health over wrestling. Those who know me, who really truly know me (and YOU know who YOU are) know that wrestling is by and far the most important thing in the world to me. But I refuse to go to the ends that some wrestlers go to, just to be a big star. Eddie Guererro has taught me so many things, and I've learned even more so from his death. Eddie did not become a star over night. He worked for years before becoming the top man in wrestling history, and he showed me that he did something much much more important all those years. Before he was somebody, Eddie was just a guy who wrestled. He loved, he lived, he made friends, and he touched lives. I can't remember but two maybe three people who mentioned how great a wrestler Eddie was. Everyone else mentioned what kind of person Eddie was. Even though Eddie was one of the greatest wrestlers ever, all people could talk about was how wonderful a man he was. He showed me what was more important. So maybe my pledge to myself won't change the industry. But maybe it'll change one mind, and they too, will choose self respect over the business, and they will inspire someone else, who will inspire someone else, until finally, we have wrestlers who believe in the power of SELF instead of the power of promoters.

Finally, Eddie taught me that it is important to cherish what we have. Eddie lost everything, then crawled back to the top. He found God, and his respect once again. The second time around, he refused to let go. Did Eddie die before his time? Maybe he did, but something tells me that although there are things Eddie would've liked to accomplished, he did accomplish everything he needed to do before his passing. I like to think he died a happy man.

Which leads me to the point. Whether you are a wrestling fan or not, don't let Eddie Guerrero's death be in vain. You don't need to change the world, just savor yours. Be happy for what you have, and if there is something you need to do in your life, don't put it off until tomorrow, go out and grab it now because you never know how much time you have.

Most importantly, tell people you love them. Never pass up an opportunity to tell them, either. Tell them EVERY time you see them, and mean it. Eddie taught me that there is NOTHING more important in this life than the image of the man you leave behind, because once you go, that is all people have left of you. Go out and make a difference in SOMEONE's life. You may already have and not know, so make sure that if someone has touched your life, TELL THEM! They may be gone tomorrow.

To everyone I have met,

and who has changed my life in some way,

too numerous to mention by name,

know that all you have done has shaped me into the man I am.

I love you.

class dismissed.